Does anyone have that drummer's contact info? He's got promise!

Check out all the hilarious cook-out fails over at The FW!

The apples are playing right into my dastardly plan!

What more do you need? Other than blood pressure medication, that is.

Give the kids the sugar they crave and NEED. No problem!

I'm hardly entertained. You're fired, fish.

Warning, rough language in descriptions of breakfast.

Order in Spanish from Pizza Patron on June 5 and your pie is free! Quake in fear at the loss of your precious language.

Don't waste any part of the chicken, don't waste any part of the cake.

Calm down, he'll get you a double cone next time.

Because everyone knows that the best part of the pizza is the toppings. Crust is totally secondary.

How was your weekend? I think you know how great mine was.

This royal life is so sticky, so sweet, so tedious. My kingdom for more than four flavors!

What's worse, hearing that your nemesis is your father or knowing you'll never get drunk again? I'd say it's a toss up.

Are you ready for the end of season two? For Winterfell!

Dude, after a trip like that you're gonna need a huge burrito.