A pox apon yu yon Saxon kitteh!

wel wer iz ur sord?

I'm gonna need to inspect that burger youre eating.

o nooz lemme sab u frum dat burger!

While the optimist and pessimist argue over whether the glass is half full or half empty, the opportunist sneaks in and drinks it.

oooh i lub teh fruity dwinks wif teh widdle brella thingy.

Dey always sayin "Look at those ears!" Iz der somethin' rong wif meh?

don wurry teh eers r teh cyootest part!

There, there ugly bald puppy.

wich iz bettr a ugly puppeh or a pugly babe?

KEEP CALM: and blame it on the cat.

seemz liek teh best plan 2 me.