I'm so far from being a 12-year-old boy that the only thing outrageous here is the mayonnaise on a hot dog. A HOT DOG!!!

Oh UK readers, aren't you lucky? You get to order a pizza with a hot dog in the crust and mustard drizzle. Because really the one thing wrong with pizza is that it's not a hot dog.

I like to mix my dog drool with bug barf. I mean come on, dogs eat bugs all the time, it's natural.

If I unwrapped the foil of my birthday burrito and was confronted with sugary treats I'd be pretty pissed to be honest.

It's wise to be topless when eating a Carl's Jr. burger just in case.

I can't even stomach one Cadbury Creme Egg let alone a whole sandwich's worth of its disgusting filling.

Man that place is gonna get stinky in the summer.