You really help me tap into my emotional side.

12,000 pounds. Six tons of chocolate. What, they think that's impressive? They obviously didn't see my obnoxious wedding cake.

Don't worry, there are no girls in this one. You can watch it at work without any suspicions of Girls Gone Wild.

Would you like some coffee with that cream?

Hold on arteries, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

Pfft, that's not even a hot dog bun.

Have you been working out your jaw muscles? This is going to be one hell of a workout.