I'm tired of the same old miracle every morning. Do you have anything in a baby Jesus?

Just pray that there's a restroom nearby. you're gonna get cleaned out nuclear style.

Cats are up all night man, you can't live like this.

Don't get cheeky with me, cup, I emancipated you from the clutches of that evil burger-slinging clown!

Stop hiding caffeine in chocolate. Just chew on some coffee and call it good.

This is an accurate depiction of my breath after drinking said coffee.

Don't make me solve this damn thing before the first cup. I'm useless in the morning.