You can't fool us, chair, we know it's you under those expensive clothes!
It's a desk! It's a computer! It's a chair! It's a bookcase! It's a room divider! It's a headache!
Look, we all overlooked your difference in chemical composition for long enough. It's just not going to work out. You need to find a new place to live.
Just like being at Niagra but far more comfortable and you don't have to wear those gross rubber raincoats.