Uli is a real modern rocker.

In order to join the fraternal brotherhood, pledging chairs have to spend an entire night pretending to be patio furniture in the suburbs and not die of boredom. Few survive.

Someday they'll let Chair sit at the grownups' table. Someday.

Are you getting a lot of work done in your palatial office space/dining room?

Chair must have done something really bad this time. It takes a lot for the chain to come out. Just say you're sorry, Chair!

Sure we always went drinking down by the river in my day. We just weren't stupid enough to go swimming in the dark when we were drunk.

My fifth grade teacher would have outlawed these in a heartbeat.