What??? It was obstructing my view while I was hiding.

No,no,no officer, it's not nip, it's pot... Just ask my room mate Cheech Cheech ain't here!

What's the fuss about? The kid's asleep!

HURRICANE? NO, SILLY, WE LIVE IN ALASKA... IT WAS THE VIKINGS.

I ATE THEM FOR BACK RENT AND REPOSSESSED THE PROPERTY FOR MY OWN USES

Notice how people start yawning, whenever you speak? You do realize, it's NOT because they're tired, right?

"I know it's wrong to be so into the neighbors' divorce. But their choice of projectiles is fascinating."