How could you not have a good night's sleep in such a sweet moon bed? Sure, it's probably a kid's bed, but I want a giant one around my queen sized bed.

To his knees to clean fingerprints off the coffee table.

It's carved out of wood, it looks like poo, and it probably weighs about 300 pounds. What's not to love?

Can I still cover the bottom of the top bunk with puffy stickers and graffiti about the boy I have a crush on? These are my conditions for a proper bunk bed.

Maybe not for the nursery? Perhaps? Let's keep that in Daddy's den, shall we?

"Captain! We're capsized! I've lashed myself to the wheel but it's pointing straight up at the sky! I don't know if we'll get out of this pink floral sea alive!"

(Thanks to our submitter for the awesome title and commentary. You guys make my job so easy!)

It's like someone left a solitary marshmallow to rot in the woods and some industrious fungus Smurfs moved in.