Chair must have done something really bad this time. It takes a lot for the chain to come out. Just say you're sorry, Chair!
Sure we always went drinking down by the river in my day. We just weren't stupid enough to go swimming in the dark when we were drunk.
My fifth grade teacher would have outlawed these in a heartbeat.
You can't fool us, chair, we know it's you under those expensive clothes!
It's a desk! It's a computer! It's a chair! It's a bookcase! It's a room divider! It's a headache!
Chair, I hope you're wearing your seatbelt!
When your light fixtures go all liquid on you, you know you've got a problem.
Look, we all overlooked your difference in chemical composition for long enough. It's just not going to work out. You need to find a new place to live.