best of the week

Day take my stapler one more time, I am burning dis place down.

Mai stapplr. Has enneewun seen it.

One moment, please. I'm trying to have an inteligent conversation with your boyfriend.

-assmoinfrd0rj434ru4t4rt49rt3ir-ewifm vr 942m t4-wtw0if

Mom needs noo taeste in men.

I HAS A TORTILLA... WHAT I DO WIF IT

Well dere's lawts ob things to do wif dem! Liek... liek... well akshully ai doan't kno.

They named their cat "Windows" because he was constantly crashing.

Hab yoo considdured anudder OS?

YES-DRILL-SAR-JINT!

AI SED AWR YOO AT ATTENSHUN, PRYBBIT?

Money can't buy happi But it can buy ice cream Dats kinda de saem

Wait, wuts dis guy doin eeting mai ice cream?!

Borrowed a cup of cute from the neighbor

Get it while iz fresh!

If you do, I promise you'll regret it.

But(!) reely, wuts wid awl da focus on owr pos-teerioors?

OMMMM.... OMMMM...NOM...... NOMMIE...NOMM...

Please tu nawt interupt. We is Mewditating.

If it pleases the Court, I will be defending myself in Goldfish v. Black Cat.

With that, awl rise, foar the honerubble Judj Whiskers!

So ya think you're a tough guy HUH

Come awn, wanna fite about it? HUH??

Dat bakon. Lukz gud. Juss sayin.

Wut? Dat is bakon, rite?

I can has Asgard?

Come on, Mjolnir, less go see ta Avenjurs.

ASSASSIN UNLOCK WRIST KITTEH

Ai lub dat gaeme!!

Dis portulz iz borkd.

Dass it. Call Apurrture and tell Cave tu come fix dis.

Woke up, fell outta bed. The end.

Ai doan't mind where I end up tho.