politicians

I am glad you met my beard.

(Brian Wilson, Barack Obama)

Affairs of State can be complicated

(Barack Obama)

Congratulations, Mrs. Dorfmann, here's your Publisher's Clearinghouse grand prize. We ran out of money, so we're giving away one million babies. The rest are in the truck.

Now remember: the poor people DESERVE to be poor

(Rick Perry, Ron Paul)

just cup them like this

(Nancy Pelosi)

It is a skinny ass back there. He likes big butts, and I cannot lie.....

(Barack Obama, Prince William, Kate Middleton, Michelle Obama)

And my husband is the Queen of Denial.

(Michele Bachmann)

CREATION God outsourced some of it

(Vladimir Putin)

Like a Sir.

(Barack Obama)

This reminds me of something little baby Jesus once told me. "It's not a sin, if it's on a stick."

(Rick Perry)

And the winner of the "George W. Bush Impersonation Award" goes to ... Rick Perry

(Mitt Romney, Rick Perry)

SAY THAT TO MY FACE B*TCH, NOT YOUR COMPUTER

(Stephen Hawking, Barack Obama)

Now how long do I cook this thing?

(Barack Obama)

I Boop Ur Noes. Let Us Boop Together. Boop Boop

(Vladimir Putin)

GUESS WHAT AMERICA I LEARNED HOW TO READ

(Michele Bachmann)

NO EMOTIONZ.

(Rick Perry, Ron Paul)