politicians

GUESS WHAT AMERICA I LEARNED HOW TO READ

(Michele Bachmann)

Baracklava?

(Barack Obama)

Now how long do I cook this thing?

(Barack Obama)

just cup them like this

(Nancy Pelosi)

NO EMOTIONZ.

(Rick Perry, Ron Paul)

Breaking News - As you can see I live and eat in New Jersey.

(Chris Christie)

And my husband is the Queen of Denial.

(Michele Bachmann)

Congratulations, Mrs. Dorfmann, here's your Publisher's Clearinghouse grand prize. We ran out of money, so we're giving away one million babies. The rest are in the truck.

This reminds me of something little baby Jesus once told me. "It's not a sin, if it's on a stick."

(Rick Perry)

And the winner of the "George W. Bush Impersonation Award" goes to ... Rick Perry

(Mitt Romney, Rick Perry)

YOU MEAN I HAVE TO DO THIS... OBAMASELF?

(Barack Obama)

OBAMA'S POLICIES DESTROYED THE ECONOMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO, YOU ARE REMEMBERING IT WRONG.

(Republican debates, Steve Carell)

Yay! We're killing trees! Less paper for books. Means less libraries! Yay!

(Michele Bachmann)

"And if he calls you a goose, then you have to chase him around the circle and catch him before he makes it back around and takes your place in the circle."

(Barack Obama)

I blame it on the hipsters.

(Nicolas Sarkozy)

UNDEAD CONGRESSWOMAN And you caution us about the live camera?

(Nancy Pelosi)