Just read it to me one more time....PLEASE???

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Just read it to me one more time....PLEASE???
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an den frodo an da sebben dwarfs simply walked into mordor srsly, yuz gonna haf to lern tu read...

" and shining

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" and shining
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" and shining morning face, creeping like a snail unwillingly to school" Shakespeare Snail in school? Dis guy's a putz dat's fur shur.

two can play the blame game, ya know

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two can play the blame game, ya know
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so you're reading me a story about a cat with an eating disorder. nice. now that the gloves are off, how long's it been since you had a date?