May I have your attention...
I have been informed by the TSA that someone is smuggling nip on this flight.
It is a crime not to share.
Don't be mean; BE MEME! Animal Memes is just a click away!
My apologies for flying in circles.
The copilot is a dog and he's trying to catch the tail assembly.
In the unlikely event of a water landing
Someone please save me! I can't swim.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE'VE REACHED OUR CRUSING ALTITUDE
FEEL FREE TO TURN ON YOUR ELECTRONIC CAN OPENERS
In the event of an emergency, shiny dangly things will drop down from the overhead compartment to distract you.
We will now begin our descent by circling the runway 30 times and then land where it is least convenient for the airport.
Ladies and Gentlemen: If you look off to your left you will see
A BIRD! A BIRD! OMG, IT'S A BIRD!
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