For the enjoyment of our first class passengers, the flight attendants are handing out complementary travel size rolls of toilet paper.

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Unfortunately some birdies got sucked into the jet engines. Flight attendants will be coming around with complimentary appetizers.

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Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like we're going to be delayed for another 3 hours. The captain has decided to take a spontaneous nap on the runway.

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We are currently cruising at 35,000 feet Would all dogs proceed to the nearest exit. Thank you.

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Under our new seating policies, first class passengers will be entitled to boxes lined with fleece blankies.

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Good Morning Passengers At this time we offer early boarding for Business Cat Class

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Please help yourself to our complimentary snack sized bags of kibbles. Our galley kitchen is not equipped to store carry-on fresh prey.

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