I can't even stomach one Cadbury Creme Egg let alone a whole sandwich's worth of its disgusting filling.

That is all. Commence drooling.

Who knew it only costs $100 to put yourself at risk for diabetes? Bargain!

So those hundreds of gallons of Sunny D I drank in high school weren't fueling my education like I thought it was?

It's so much more satisfying than a gummy bear because you've got so much ear to eat before you get to the head!

Do they taste like mildew, cigarettes, old potpourri and cat pee like my great aunt's house smells?

When you're expecting sushi and end up with cake in your mouth, I'll bet no matter how delicious that cake is, you'll spit it out in disgust.