Sing me into a deep, soft, carb-loaded sleep with your sweet song and soothing march.
I never have the energy to let my fish, gravy and peas set into the desired shape. I always skip the molding step and head straight to eating, silly me.
Someday someone will recognize me in a drive through for being that one lady who writes crappy jokes about food on the internet. A girl can dream...
That fancy mud bath spa you love? Yeah, that's stew for giants.
This is not what I had in mind when I ordered dessert pizza. Where's my giant cookie?
Flood the elevators with honey mustard sauce and only offer to pay to clean people's shoes if they eat a 20 piece. Sweet deal.
Can I get an order of two shoulders up and an extra scoop of whatever chicken stuff?
Steven Spielberg Criticized for the "Triceratops He Just ...
"Matt, Do Your Girl Voice!"
Attack on Titan Meets Pokémon and I'm Never Sleeping Again
Obama Flashed a Smile After Being Offered a Hit of Legal ...
How People See Gamer Girls
17 Ways You Can Make a Running Otter Seem Even More Epic!
Sometimes You Don't Really Know Your Parents
Literally, This Couldn't Apply to Everyone
Anybody Care to Decipher This One for the Less Math-y Folks?
Pick Your Site Name
Tell me more