Sing me into a deep, soft, carb-loaded sleep with your sweet song and soothing march.
I never have the energy to let my fish, gravy and peas set into the desired shape. I always skip the molding step and head straight to eating, silly me.
Someday someone will recognize me in a drive through for being that one lady who writes crappy jokes about food on the internet. A girl can dream...
That fancy mud bath spa you love? Yeah, that's stew for giants.
This is not what I had in mind when I ordered dessert pizza. Where's my giant cookie?
Flood the elevators with honey mustard sauce and only offer to pay to clean people's shoes if they eat a 20 piece. Sweet deal.
Can I get an order of two shoulders up and an extra scoop of whatever chicken stuff?
10 of the Most Amazing Breakup Texts
The Most Private Thing You're Willing to Admit...Is Terrible
The Truth Behind Justin Bieber's Calvin Klein Ad
Should We Call Rami the Pit Bull Dachshund a Weiner Bull?
The Future is Now: People Experience What it Would Be Like ...
You Can't Unsee This Side of Disney
I Need to Wear a Cat on My Head at All Times Now
The Duality of The Immune System
Historia con final inesperado
Pick Your Site Name
Tell me more