Let's up the ante. You have to eat all the tacos in under 10 minutes and then go on four rollercoasters without any negative repercussions.

This is the kind of giant, boxed meal that can only be eaten absent-mindedly while watching the game. Focusing any real attention on this meal would make me want to kill myself.

Dudes, it's time to break out the elastic waist pants and forget about that silly diet for a day. Maybe it's best to bring a pillow to mom's house for the post-dinner nap. Here's some of what you can expect tomorrow night.

Can I trade these three sad fish for a porterhouse and steamed broccoli?

My lunch is so disgusted with itself that it puked all over itself.

Some wine, a little raclette, a fine afternoon during a controlled fall.

Hey doc, can you prescribe me something in the IPA family?