In his deepest darkest fantasies all he really wanted to be was a doorstop.

I'm pretty sure when you've reached the bottom of a can this large you're dealing with some nasty, flat, warm dregs.

Just in time for the 2012 summer Olympic games, London has made room for the world's largest McDonald's. Because I'm sure the planet's most elite athletes are fueled by processed greasebombs.

I like to get a good wrestle in before a snack.

I'm all out of hamburger buns, all I've got are these frozen pizzas. It will have to do.

You jelly?

They couldn't make it 30 pounds? I have no respect for the makers of this sandwich.