It's better to floss the bacon out of your teeth with bacon floss than to just let the bacon chill between your teeth all day.
A sunny side up grin is the best way to wake up.
I'm just gonna lock myself in the house with an iron and a coffee pot and call it a life. The internet said I could!
Flavor my pancakes, don't drown them. Bonus, if you're a godless heathen you can use the reservoir of syrup for bacon dunking. Freak.
I hope this Danish won't make me cry like the movie did. I don't think I can handle an emotional load like that so early in the morning.
I love a good morning surprise yolking. Keeps me on my toes.
You can't make a decent omelet with these damn things. Oh well, cake for breakfast it is!
If Physical Diseases Were Treated Like Mental Illness
This 5-Year-Old Made the Cutest AND Most Heroic 911 Call at the Same Time
Aziz Ansari Captures Why it Sucks to be Single Today
Top 10 Walking Dad Jokes
25 People Who Should Try Harder This Christmas
How the University of Minnesota Golden Gophers Distract Opposing Kickers
Decisions Are Tough
Shut Up and Take My Money of the Day: Copenhagen Literally Reinvented the Wheel
Simon's Cat: Christmas Presence
Pick Your Site Name
Tell me more