I'm editing my will right now to stipulate that I will be buried with all my worldly belongings inside a pyramid shaped watermelon.

BTW, happy National Watermelon Day! Yaaaaaay!

Do you love airline food so much you'll go to nearly any lengths to eat it? Boy do I have the restaurant for you!

The Japanese do not take mayonnaise worship lightly.

I'm more concerned with the fact that this man can't read numbers or move a decimal place than the price of the melons.

Remember how Americans are the ones who go overboard with ordering everything on the menu and eating until we explode? Let's take a little peek at what Japan's up to...

I wish my bodyguards would lighten up and eat candy and dance with me, they're so damned stern all the time.

Waiters, always trying to harsh my mellow.