Stairs to the Throne

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Stairs to the Throne
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My subjects may entertain me from the bench.

That Oughta Do It

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That Oughta Do It
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Problem solving, DIY style.

Have You Checked Your Tank Lately

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Have You Checked Your Tank Lately
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I like the thought that there might be a happy family of croakers living in my toilet. Hi guys!

Oh Behave!

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Yes, I'd like thousands of my hard earned dollars to go to a machine that plays me soothing music and sprays my ass with warm water in different patterns. Priorities.

There's No Accounting For Taste

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There's No Accounting For Taste
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The thought of doing my business into a giant mouth skeeves me out. I feel like this toilet should take out a craigslist ad for, um, donations?

Where Would YOU Put it?

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Where Would YOU Put it?
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Just make sure the stove is off when you sit on the commode. It's impossible to get rid of that burning hair smell.

RIP Steve Jobs

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RIP Steve Jobs
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A touching and intimate tribute to the man who defined the brand. Or maybe you just like fruit. Who am I to say?