These poor goldfish mush have blank, haunted expressions like Kurtz deep in the jungle.
Just make sure the stove is off when you sit on the commode. It's impossible to get rid of that burning hair smell.
When I feel the urge to do any of the various things that propel me toward the bathroom I really only have one thought: "I wish my toilet had more bling. Then _-ing wouldn't be so frightfully tediious."
Yes, I'd like thousands of my hard earned dollars to go to a machine that plays me soothing music and sprays my ass with warm water in different patterns. Priorities.
The thought of doing my business into a giant mouth skeeves me out. I feel like this toilet should take out a craigslist ad for, um, donations?
Supposedly squat toilets are where it's at and our comfy, cold-seated toilets are slowly killing us from the inside out. This traffic cone is trying to warn you! http://www.slate.com/id/2264657/
If you think about it, the toilet really should be the most comfortable seat in the house.
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