The Scratchinator

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The Scratchinator
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Go ahead, sit down, don't give a second thought to your lovely hardwood floors and the punishment I'm about to give that shiny finish.

The Most Delicious Seat in the House

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The Most Delicious Seat in the House
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This is what all of us Cheez employees had growing up. They were grooming us from a very young age you see. It involves time travel, go watch the movie "Primer," it's complicated.

Never a Dull Moment

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Never a Dull Moment
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Vacations are an exercise in cognitive behavioral therapy. Summers are really a time for growth.

The Carousel of Life

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The Carousel of Life
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I'm not sure if I could handle the dreams I'd have with three terrifying bucking horses in my bedroom.

Teri

Code? What Code?

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Code? What Code?
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You need some serious arm strength to get up this ramp in a wheelchair. We only serve beefy beefcakes.

For America!

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For America!
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Everyone please stand RIGHT HERE and look at my couch. Okay thanks for coming over, bye!

Kitchen, Tell Me Your Secrets

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Kitchen, Tell Me Your Secrets
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Just be sure to close that trap door once you retrieve your wine or you've got one heck of a drunken tripping hazard on you hands. Or shins, rather.