No Diving!

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No Diving!
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But kids, you said you wanted a pool! Why aren't you frolicking?

Function Over Form

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Function Over Form
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You said you want a chair your kid can't rock back onto two legs, you never said you wanted it to be attractive.

Fire Hazard Like Whoa

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Fire Hazard Like Whoa
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I recommend buying your overzealous neighbors fire extinguishers as Halloween gifts. That's a thing, right?

Stay Out of the Pink Room, Birdie

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Stay Out of the Pink Room, Birdie
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I admire bold color choices. This requires a great deal of chutzpa if you ask me.

Please Be Careful

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Please Be Careful
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You can't imagine how much it costs to keep this couch fresh.