y u gotta b so cold?

"I STOLE A POTATO"

I only borrowed it...

well den wat did u do wiff it?

All I said was, "yes, that cat bed makes you look fat..."

sumtimez honestee iz not teh best policee.

Your kisses feel like punishment

welp, akshully, ai like da kisses!

But Dad..... ...the steak was just SITTING THERE!!!

Well, that's ONE puppy that won't come swaggering round here again

How long do you think she's gonna make us stay out here? You're the one who butt-scooted on the carpet! All I did was ask politely for a bite of her tuna sammich... ...30 or 40 times...