sarcasm

You realize it's just the same 26 letters being rearranged, don't you?

Light travels faster dan sound. ....dis is whi sum people appear bright until yew hear dem speak

You're pursuing a 2nd career? You currently clean toilets, right? Oh, attorney. Meh, same difference.

"Is this your stupid idea of parody?"

No, 10 miles wasn't too much for me. Scuze me while I melt into the floor. Scrape me up in a few hours, kai?

So, you didn't get raptured? Quelle surprise.

u take meh fur walk i run owt door... i take u fur walk u fall down stairs...nice jobz

happee frickin Easter

Well, wit mai liberal arts major, what did U expect???

So, what you're telling me is that we're getting a cat. Super.

That noise was just you singing in the shower? What a relief. For a moment there, I thought it was some squirrels stuck in the dryer vent again.

So, you have an internet boyfriend. Is he a bit like those imaginary boyfriends you used to have? Kind of not totally there...?