pilots

We are currently cruising at 35,000 feet Would all dogs proceed to the nearest exit. Thank you.

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Under our new seating policies, first class passengers will be entitled to boxes lined with fleece blankies.

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Good Morning Passengers At this time we offer early boarding for Business Cat Class

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Please help yourself to our complimentary snack sized bags of kibbles. Our galley kitchen is not equipped to store carry-on fresh prey.

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May I have your attention... I have been informed by the TSA that someone is smuggling nip on this flight. It is a crime not to share.

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My apologies for flying in circles. The copilot is a dog and he's trying to catch the tail assembly.

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In the unlikely event of a water landing Someone please save me! I can't swim.

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Before you die, though, visit our friends at Memebase!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE'VE REACHED OUR CRUSING ALTITUDE FEEL FREE TO TURN ON YOUR ELECTRONIC CAN OPENERS

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In the event of an emergency, shiny dangly things will drop down from the overhead compartment to distract you.

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We will now begin our descent by circling the runway 30 times and then land where it is least convenient for the airport.

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Ladies and Gentlemen: If you look off to your left you will see A BIRD! A BIRD! OMG, IT'S A BIRD!

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Ladies and Gentlemen: Please ignore the hissing coming over the loudspeaker, the captain in the next plane over is looking at me.

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PLEASE FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS THAT CLOUD LOOKS LIKE A BALL OF YARN

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PLEASE TURN OFF ALL ELECTRONIC DEVICES, AS THEY MAY INTERFERE WITH NAVIGATION EQUIPMENT. AND NO LASER POINTERS. THEY FREAK ME THE ** OUT.

Love LOLcats? Who doesn't?! There are so many more over here!