SQUASH ALL THE FOODS!
You've got a nasty chip on your windshield.
Every morning I have a serious emergency. And a huge mess.
Want everything you drink to taste more like a delicious, briny, dried squid? You're in luck! They make a cup out of a real dried squid for just such a purpose!
That's one way to deal with your partner's drinking problem. No point in attacking it head-on.
I don't have furniture, it ruins my minimalist aesthetic. You can't put anything down. Deal with it.
What's that drunky? Use your words.
The internet and alcohol, two great tastes that taste great together. I want to put a filter on the comments on this post so that you can only comment if you're drunk. Get to chugging!