The human clearly needs help. I'll get rid of these black lines by licking them off

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you've got one heckuva hair clog

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I knoe teh stoopy hoomin paid fibe thowsand dollars for dis rare fishie, but I haz a hunger..

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No, hoomin, I didn't eet nun ob dat spensiv caviars yu bawt for yur big party tonite..

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JUS STUFF GOGGIE IN TUBA AN BLOW IN OTHR END

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Mmmm, just how I like 'em: warm and bouncy, with a little static cling to attract loose hairs

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When you're six, you no longer get a cake?

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SANDBUR!!!

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NOWT 2 SELF: DOAN SLEEP IN POTATO FIELD

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Made it to work but tempted to call in sick from the parking lot

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I knew I shud nawt have watched teh politakal convenshun

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While you're up, would you mind doing some exercise? Keeping up your appearance would help my street cred

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STOP In the name of love!

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A new yoga pose

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Roof to ladder to shoulders to railing to ground … I think this parkour trick should work

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Iz nawt Mars, but iz dat Uranus?

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