Thank goodness I remembered my sweater today!
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Ai...its yur fawlt! Yur sweater had a hole innit. Ai tried tu fiks it an.... yu wernt dere tu stop meh!
if dis wer normlol string dis wudnt hab happind.
Hmm...you smell suspiciously like a sweater...
plz 2 nawt mayk meh wayr u...
Ivy League Marxist Sociology Professor
Not sure if will hunt in ocean or ring bells in Notre Dame