Thank goodness I remembered my sweater today!

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Ai...its yur fawlt! Yur sweater had a hole innit. Ai tried tu fiks it an.... yu wernt dere tu stop meh!

if dis wer normlol string dis wudnt hab happind.

Hmm...you smell suspiciously like a sweater...

plz 2 nawt mayk meh wayr u...

SHUN

Ivy League Marxist Sociology Professor

Not sure if will hunt in ocean or ring bells in Notre Dame