It's my turn to be Dungeon Master. Why would I give that up to be your 'animal companion'? Now drop it or I'll add a dragon with a grudge against you to the scenario.
Please buy a paper shredder. I'll even pay for it. This used to be a fun hobby, but I can't keep up with all your mistakes and rewrites!
therapist kitteh offers massage and ackupuncture
The Cheshire Cat is on break. meanwhile... May I interest you in a mushroom?
Why offer "A Word to the Wise" when it's the stupid ones that could really use the advice....