"Don't laugh, I have a very severe astigmatism!"
Don't worry Bunny, no one was laughing at your ridiculous nerd-goggles I promise!
Yeah, that's right, I conned a ghost into showing me the way down here. I deciphered the codes in that creepy journal belonging to some freak named Tom Riddle. And I did a bunch of other stuff along the way too, and it was all worth it! Because the Chamber of Secrets is filled with nothing but an endless supply of noms. Which is pretty much the best thing a secret chamber could ever be filled with, if you ask me!