Franklinad says: "This is my robo dwarf hamster, Flash. I had to take a break from my philosophy paper and decided to have some squee time with her zipping around my desk. What a little squee!"
All I can say to you, dear Franklinad, is that your title for this post is the best user-submitted title I've ever received. So thank you. You and your squee hammy made my day!
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand first off the starting line is Blurry Speedsalot, followed closely by Leapy Anderson in second place! It looks like these two are leaving the rest of the pack far behind as they kick up dust on the first hundred meters of the course, Anderson drafting behind Speedsalot in hopes of gaining advantage. Now they're neck-and-neck and only meters from the finish, and it looks like it could be the race of the year for either of them! And the winner is... oh wait they both swung 90 degrees after being distracted by a gazelle so it looks like neither of them are going to be medaling this particular race after all...