The U.S. Women won their soccer game against North Korea with a score of 1-0 today. With this win the U.S. are now at the top of their group with nine points, ready to move on to the next round!
No word yet on what ridiculous explanation North Korean officials will come up with to explain their Ladies' loss.
Possible reasons North Korean Women Lost:
1. American capitalist cowards rigged the game by playing with knives
2. Heinous war criminal George W. Bush held the players hostage and tortured our brave women warriors with foul American pop music
3. NORTH KOREAN WOMEN SOCCER TEAM ACTUALLY WON. DO NOT BELIEVE FOUL WESTERN PIG LIES AND PROPAGANDA. ALL GLORY TO THE WONDROUS NATION OF NORTH KOREA!