Team GB Football Beats Uruguay, Spain Exits Winless

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London Mayor Boris Johnson may have had his issues with zip-lines today, but Team GB rallied through this tragedy to win their group, defeating Uruguay 1-0 on the strength of a Daniel Sturridge goal in the 46th minute.

In more shocking news, defending World Cup and two-time Euro Cup champion Spain exited the Olympics without a victory. Spain failed to score a single goal in a tournament that many expected them to win outright.

Instead the Spanish will head home early, as Team GB, Senegal, Mexico, South Korea, Brazil, Egypt, Japan, and Honduras advance on to the quarterfinals. 2014 World Cup and 2016 Olympic Host Brazil is now widely considered to be the favorite.

Spain Loses to Honduras, Fails to Qualify for Soccer Quarterfinals

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In a stunning turn of events, the Spanish soccer team has failed to qualify out of group play after falling to Honduras 1-0 today.

Spain, who won the last World Cup as well as the last two Euro Cups, now will go home early from an Olympic tournament they failed to even score a goal in.

Japan Stuns Spain, Wins 1-0 in Opening Game

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As the defending World Cup and UEFA Champs, Spain was heavily favored to win it all. Instead, they lost to Japan for the first time in any capacity, providing us with the first major upset of the 2012 Olympics.

A Spanish team playing without captain Iker Casillas and star midfielder Andres Iniesta were forced to play a man down early after surrendering the only goal of the game in the 34th minute.

Spain looks to rebound against Honduras on Sunday, while Japan takes on Morocco.

Nothing Says 'Olympian' Like Hideous National Outfits

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The idea behind Team Spain's athelete uniforms is that their opponents will be too busy vomiting to compete. Genius!

On the left is Saul Craviotto, a gold medal-winning canoeist, who tweeted this image of him in Spain's Olympic garb and offering a "no comment" about their look:

"I leave it up to you."