The song is ruined forever and I couldn't be more pleased.

I get it, bodybuilders don't make any money because no one respects them as athletes. Honestly, who can take a tuxedo T-shirt seriously?

I didn't know you could order mythical winged babies now! Don't cook mine too much, they get chewy!

That's what my jello has been missing! Lettuce! It really lacks that watery crunch.

I've heard of meals coming back angry, but if it started that way, you were asking for it.

Obviously I'm doing it wrong when I offer my guests a jar of martini olives, a bag of old pita chips and a shot of tequila.