I just want to spray the place down with red wine and vulgarities before I tuck in for a nice meal.

Somebody needs to put a baby on this cake and pretend to adjust his spine.

Ever had a meal so good you could die happy right there at the table?

Also the salt of the space shuttle. Man am I dehydrated!

I crave dirt and grass, help!

Fake disgusting food made out of real, delicious food? Sign me up!

What's that? To me it just spells "Can I get a soda to wash this down with please?"