Good morning! Would you like me to garnish your scramble this fine day?

Don't forget, My Food Looks Funny is not long for this world.

A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the ass. Let's not kid ourselves here.

Okay I get it, you don't like crust! You're never eating pizza with me again.

Oh good, now all the grease will just run right off the edge of the plate! Brilliant!

Well you SAID you were on a diet!

Surprisingly, I'm managing to stay satisfied with this meager portion.

He can put together a charcuterie plate in less than two minutes. Best investment of our whole wedding!