Hey man, you don't share with just anyone.

Well you SAID you were on a diet!

I'd rather get a pizza for my friends with only one slice WITHOUT super hot chillies so I look like a total badass while they're all losing their cool over the spiciness.

They're always sneaking up and multiplying on you.

At least let me have a few of the red ones back!

That's one way to deal with your partner's drinking problem. No point in attacking it head-on.

Hey Canada! You think you can out-burger us? IT'S ON!!!