Don't worry guys, we're thinking it too.

Do they come with meatballs?

Oh it's a candle? Uh huh. Okay.

Slices easily through soft, cylindrical objects and foodstuffs.

How to turn off your carnival date: eat a super suggestive sentient corndog.

It's a candle salad! Seriously. Candle. I swear. See, here's the recipe even! http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Candle-Salad