The Deep Sorrow of Ketchup

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The Deep Sorrow of Ketchup
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Frostee never returned his affections. He had no choice.

Pockets Fulla Booze

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Pockets Fulla Booze
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Now that baseball season has started back up, I'll be stuffing these in every pocket, sock and shoe on my way to the ballpark. What? I'm just naturally lumpy!

A Revolution in Packaging

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A Revolution in Packaging
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Goodbye crappy old ketchup packets, hello new fancy squeeze or dip ketchup delivery system!

Pour Some Gravy on Me

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Pour Some Gravy on Me
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Thank god for bacon gravy because my sausage gravy just didn't have enough meaty goodness.

I Won't Take None of Your Crying

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I Won't Take None of Your Crying
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I'm tired of eating fresh vegetables that come from the ground and are good for me. More food should come in paste form from a tube!

Fish Tea

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Fish Tea
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Don't let your fishbag steep for too long, it'll get bitter and there's nothing worse than bitter fish tea.

Pre-Splattered

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Pre-Splattered
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Perfect for parking lot stomping; so many exit points!