Now I know how people can eat a whole raw onion! They are eating fancy citrus-onion hybrids!

Is there anything sadder than a grown man recording himself crying alone in his generic apartment? I weep for you, sir.

Stop distracting me, soup, I don't want to date you I just want to eat you!

Look at that sadistic grin as he watches me cry. I hate that guy.

He must have gotten really cut up. They never even liked the guy.

Here you go, kiddo! Don't let your dog get to that one.

My hair is out of control and my hands just aren't up to it.