Eat Meat and Die!

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Eat Meat and Die!
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So, eating meat will make me into a pie when I die? I think my loved ones would be okay with that!

How to Get Thrown Out of a Restaurant

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How to Get Thrown Out of a Restaurant
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You can put the ketchup to good use just making it LOOK like you killed yourself. Much smarter.

Flattery Gets You Everywhere

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Flattery Gets You Everywhere
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If I finish my food and write about how terrible it was, will they give me my money back?

Spicy, Meaty Love

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Spicy, Meaty Love
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I think the pizza dude is hitting on me. This has got to stop, the pepperoni isn't evenly distributed.

It's My Lot in Life

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It's My Lot in Life
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You're right, I'd never even be able to spell "everything" correctly on a cake.

Eat Salt, Sit in One Place

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Eat Salt, Sit in One Place
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Yes, canned soup and inactivity. The path to a healthy life!