So, eating meat will make me into a pie when I die? I think my loved ones would be okay with that!

You can put the ketchup to good use just making it LOOK like you killed yourself. Much smarter.

If I finish my food and write about how terrible it was, will they give me my money back?

I think the pizza dude is hitting on me. This has got to stop, the pepperoni isn't evenly distributed.

Ugh just cut it already, I'm hungry.

You're right, I'd never even be able to spell "everything" correctly on a cake.

Yes, canned soup and inactivity. The path to a healthy life!