From the SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY files.

Butter knife to the rescue! Stabbing it open is so much more satisfying anyway.

Just add a little green veggie in there and you've got almost a balanced meal!

Sandra Lee has made a career out of trolling the entire western world.

Making me this hungry is only going to enhance my road rage.

Tell me you're not drooling on your keyboard right now.

Are your kids not getting enough wax in their diet? Let's clear that right up, shall we?