Oh honey no, you don't want a blended whiskey. Where are your parents? They should be teaching you better!

It's never gonna get any better, kid, enjoy it while you can.

This is like the pizza version of letting your kid dress herself and she ends up in a Batman cape, culottes, tap shoes and a bikini top

Lessons this kid needs to learn: 1. Meat forks are not for spaghetti 2. Meatballs are not meant to be the size of your face 3. Wipe that grin off your face 4. Get a decent haircut

Because honestly I'd take nuggets over my family any day and I don't even really like nuggets that much.

You'll be a big strong masked marauder someday little guy!

Alex, we thank you for the bounty of thy meats and the blessings you bestow upon the processing plant and the curing vats, Amen.