My friends are basically all pigs who steal my eggs anyway. They deserve it.
Don't go trying to eat your juice boxes now!
Also a useful stress-relieving exercise!
So those hundreds of gallons of Sunny D I drank in high school weren't fueling my education like I thought it was?
Fruit has juice in it? Who knew? I'm especially fond of the "fill it with booze" suggestion.
Foreign languages: bringing you juvenile LOLs since the beginning of time.
Deter pets from furniture, marinate a filet of halibut, temporarily blind your opponents. What CAN'T this magic contraption do?