jerk

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By Unknown
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Okay I get it, you don't like crust! You're never eating pizza with me again.

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Via: Laughing Squid
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Let me in dammit! When I need ice cream I need it NOW!

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Via: Diet Killer
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Don't be such a martyr. Are you going to insist on doing the dishes while we all eat you too? Ugh.

Happy onion made me cry
By Karen
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Look at that sadistic grin as he watches me cry. I hate that guy.

Via: tumblr.knowyourmeme.com
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Why can't carrots and quinoa be the most delicious thing on the planet? My waistline hates you, DNA.

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Via: f**kyeahalbuquerque.tumblr.com
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Just wait until a real woman comes along and slams your hand in the thing. I doubt she'll stick around to nurse you back to health, you big baby.