Fruit has juice in it? Who knew? I'm especially fond of the "fill it with booze" suggestion.

Spherical scoops are totally over. Everyone knows a cylinder is more architecturally stable anyway.

Because the largest obstacle I face in the kitchen is cracking an egg. My hands clearly weren't designed for such a task.

It was only a matter of time until you could emblazon a cylon on your toast. It must be satisfying to eat an evil robot's head.

My drawers are looking so empty, can I get some more bulky, single-use utensils?

Ensures you get plenty of marshmallows in every bowl. Why these don't come in every box is the world's greatest mystery!

Well that's one way to get me to stop eating hot dogs.