Unnatural and Wrong

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Unnatural and Wrong
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What's wrong with an apple tasting like an apple? Get away from me, off-brand Grape Ape. I'm not falling for your cool-surfer-dude vibe.

Mmmm Goosey!

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Mmmm Goosey!
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Only your fanciest friends will appreciate your sophisticated taste.

Fresh Like Breakfast!

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Fresh Like Breakfast!
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It's better to floss the bacon out of your teeth with bacon floss than to just let the bacon chill between your teeth all day.

Apples are So Boring

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Apples are So Boring
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Good old fruit isn't good enough, we need to inject it and wrap it in plastic.

Kiss the Dew

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Kiss the Dew
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How to attract a sub-social gamer, lesson one...

So Salty, So Thirsty!

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So Salty, So Thirsty!
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Just don't let your face get anywhere near a dog if you wanna keep them pretty lips.