What's wrong with an apple tasting like an apple? Get away from me, off-brand Grape Ape. I'm not falling for your cool-surfer-dude vibe.

Only your fanciest friends will appreciate your sophisticated taste.

It's better to floss the bacon out of your teeth with bacon floss than to just let the bacon chill between your teeth all day.

Good old fruit isn't good enough, we need to inject it and wrap it in plastic.

How to attract a sub-social gamer, lesson one...

Just don't let your face get anywhere near a dog if you wanna keep them pretty lips.

But will they make my lips fat?